Friday, January 4, 2008


I've been kinda toying with this notion within my circle of friends for quite a while now, and since the doomsday scenario I'm about to describe might actually happen, I'm forced to go public with my declaration.

The greater Mike Huckabee does in the 2008 presidential election, the greater the chances of me relocating to a different country become, capping out at 100% in the event that he becomes President Huckabee and we all live in Huckabee Land.

I hate to tell you this, but if Huckabee wins the Republican nomination, he will win. Why? Because Americans tend to prefer a white, Christian man with a sense of humor and big adorable brown eyes over a black man with an Islamic background or a strong, independent older woman. Sadly, in this country, too much of politics is determined by how likable you are.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing. A president can have any number of brilliant policies and ideas, but if the people can't get behind those ideas, he has a hard time accomplishing anything. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say that I would like a president to be both likable and intelligent. It's too bad that priority is placed on likability over intelligence.

I know that the Iowa caucus accomplishes little more than pornography for political geeks like myself, but I'm finding very hard to feel prideful or at least tolerant of a country that doesn't mind when their executive office candidate doesn't believe in science. That bothers me, and the fact that doesn't bother everyone scares me. Do you understand? The prospect of a creationist president is not something that would primarily inconvenience me or make me angry. No. The scenario I'm talking about frightens me and it frightens me bad. I may need a nightlight. A fish-shaped nightlight with legs.
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