Sunday, February 10, 2008

Movies I Want to See

George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead (Feb 15th)
There are exactly three things that I've been waiting for my entire life. The first is a very good, cinematic movie that realistically tells a story through the use of a believable person using a handheld camera. I'm asking for a lot there, but I have faith. The second is a very good zombie movie. I'm not nearly as acquainted with Mr. Romero as I should be, so I think the fact that this expectation has not been realized yet is more my fault than anyone else's. And the third? True love. I'm hoping this movie meets all three expectations.

The Signal (Feb 22nd)
I don't...I don't think this is going to be good, but I still want to see it, for the sole reason that it's an independent film utilizing three autuers to tell three different stories. At first I thought this was going to be an amazing horror movie, but then I heard that the middle segment is a comedy, and that pretty much blew it for me. Don't get me wrong; I love a little comedy in my horror (Re: Shaun of the Dead, Army of Darkness) but I would just prefer it if it didn't dissect a scary movie and ruin the thing as a whole (Re: The Twilight Zone Movie).

Witless Protection (Feb 22nd)
Hahaha, just kidding! I still have all my chromosomes and no extra ones, so I won't be seeing this.

Frontière(s) (May 9th)
I guess you can say that I have a long standing history with this movie already. See, it's one of 8 in the Horrorfest series of 2007, an event that my friend Alex and I tend to obsess over. Needlessly and pathetically. Prior to the premiers of these movies, we would have bet straight cash that The Deaths of Ian Stone was going to be awesome beyond all reason and that Frontière(s) was going to be a Hostel knock-off. Well Alex saw Deaths and reported back to me that my $9 would better be spent by paying someone to punch me in the face. Then, much to our astonishment, Frontière(s) started netting some pretty damn good reviews. To paraphrase: "It's like Jesus came back to Earth to make French horror movies." Alright France, you win again. I will watch your movie.

Third Mother (June 6th)
I am actually quite surprised this is debuting in theaters here in the States. This is the final movie in a series of horror thrillers directed by Dario Argento, a series that no one has heard of by a director that no one knows from a country that Americans couldn't point to on a map.

The Happening (June 13th)
With my extremely limited knowledge on how the Judeo-Christian does business, one thing that I do know is that Eve was created from Adam's rib. I think that if a single rib could produce X chromosomes, then surely if I offer up a finger or one of those stupid little bones in my inner ear, then some deity somewhere can make this movie good.
Actually, I am cautious about this movie, but not worried. I am one of four or five people worldwide that liked both The Village and Lady in the Water. I think the key to enjoying M. Night these days is to accept that fact that horror may have been where he grew up, but he resides in a little place called Fantasy Town these days. His last two movies dealt with the issue of fiction vs. reality and I enjoyed that...once I realized it.
That being said, The Happening does not look scary, but instead, chilling. From what I can surmise from the trailer, people mysteriously begin to off themselves for no apparent reason, which is neat. There is one scene in particular where a man is standing on the street, watching half a dozen people jump out of the building above him. Creepy.
It should also be noted that I heard a rumor that this will be a rated R movie, making it Night's first venture into big kid land.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11th)
I love Guillermo del Toro. I hated the first Hellboy. The hurricane of emotions I'm feeling is too intense to accurately put into words, but if I were to try, it would be something like: Cautious glee sprinkled with erecticipation and a dash of fearitude

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Oct 24th)
Dear high-schoolers, We get it. You're dark and you're cute just like Jack Skellington or you're dark, cute and tormented like Sally. Thanks to your almost religious degree of devotion to this movie and spending your not-so-hard-earned dollars on its merchandise, Disney has decided to rerelease it in theaters in 3D, which I am very excited to see. I guess I should thank you, but I won't, because I hate talking to you.

[Rec] (TBA 2008)
Alright, take everything that I just said about zombies, handheld cameras and true love concerning Diary of the Dead, and just copy it over here. Except add on the words "indie" and "Spanish".

The Wolfman (Feb 2009)
Benicio del Toro is a werewolf! Benicio del Toro is a werewolf! Benicio del Toro is a werewolf!

Honorable Mentions:
The Band's Visit (Like, next week)
Automaton Transfusion (March 4th)
Funny Games (March 14th)
À l'intérieur (April 15th)
The Mummy 3 (August 1st)
Post a Comment